March 23, 2012

A Ring Of Finality

*Used the phrase, with a necessary change in adaptation given the cultural setting*

'She wears my ring', the lingering smile on his face announced to all the attendees at the wedding reception.
His fidgety movements betrayed his impatience over her delayed appearance.
"Relax. These ladies always turn up late, must be busy with her makeover." said his cousin shrugging his shoulders casually.
His movements eased but barely so. His relatives had echoed similar sentiments, using different words at various stages of the wedding.
"Stop asking these silly questions. Brides are nervous on their wedding day."
His nosy aunt had stated, overhearing the words exchanged by him and the best mate.
"We girls are excepted to be shy and modest, at least on such days." The sister had butted in with her wise tuppence patting his arm for added effect.
Maybe they were right, they were experienced after all. Her quiet, solemn look, her rare glancing his way could be explained thus, couldn't it?
His heartache lessened and he went back to standing at the entrance to the lobby.
***
Through the final touches of make up, she twirled the diamond engagement ring.on her hand. Glancing at the mirror in front of her, the black and gold beads among other jewellery on her neck glinted back, signalling her married status.
She touched them gingerly with her finger tips eliciting a gentle admonishing from the beautician.
"Madam, please keep your hands down, the nail paint will get blotchy."
Inspecting her fingernails, the young girl sighed,
"See, I have to redo it." looking around for a bottle of remover.
She apologised with a smile and stared at the ring instead. Little joy there, rather the feel of it on her finger felt like a heavy weight on her soul. Her heart still beating for another. The charming boy with the impish grin who had wound his way into her heart, only to break it into countless pieces years later.
Her husband was a good man deserving more than she could offer. They were family friends, her parents adored him as his loved her. He had always encouraged her, made her laugh.
*** 
Her transfer would take time. This year of separation would turn out to be a blessing. Looking into his adoring eyes as he took her hand in his, she promised herself, he would never know that their marriage had begun as a compromise for her.

wc 388 .

18 comments:

Bikramjit said...

now i am curious to know what compromise is this ..

are you going ot tell us

Bikram's

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

So despite misgivings and regrets, it worked out in the end.

DeniseCovey_L_Aussie said...

Hi Rek. Lovely to see you post for RFW. Welcome to a very warm, supportive group. Your story told a worrying tale of unrequited love and compromise. The tension from both parties was palpable. He knows he's second choices. Let's hope they make a good go of it.

I like the little touches - the makeover etc which helps ease the tension in the reader.

Good use of the prompt.

Denise

Anna said...

Dear Rek,
Thank you so much for you kind words about my troll and faerie-story.

You ask about the fairie-dust? I think Soft-Star, the faerie princess, feels compassion for the troll, Edvin Kloo. She does not want to marry him, but she is flattered by his kindness and grateful to him for saving her life. I think the faerie-dust is her way of soothing his disappointment. Faerie-dust will protect him from danger and help him keep healthy. It is also a signal to other faeries that here is a troll who deserves to be treated well. 'Please be kind to him.' (I have not read this somewhere in a book about Faerie-lore. I am just making this up for my story.

If it had been a longer text, I could have included how Soft-Star trys to talk to him about how he could improve his personal hygiene when meeting single troll-girls. Or she could have told him about what happend when she hurt her wing.

But there you have it. The prompt must be there somewhere. That's why I put it in his dreams. If I like a story very much I just remove the prompt and extend it in the direction that suits me. If you don't feel that the phrase 'She wears my ring' fits, you can just remove it. Your story has enough intrigue. The phrase 'She wears my ring' is not that important.

Do you really wear wedding rings where you live? Your story's bride seems to be wearing other kinds of jewellery that mean that she is a married woman:

'Glancing at the mirror in front of her, the black and gold beads among other jewellery on her neck glinted back, signalling her married status.'

I'm so glad that you are posting on RFW this time. Back in January, when I was forced to change blog address (URL) and move all of my old posts to a new address, I lost all of my followers on friend connect. You were the first to follow me on my new URL! I think about how you warmed my heart by doing that each time I see your profile photo. Thank you!

I think you have written an intriguing tale about the feelings that couples are to be wed or newly wed may feel. Some of these feelings and conflicts are connected to a cultural tradition, others are universal.

I really like this story. You show on many levels that getting married is not that simple. The couple is watched by their families. Have they made the right choice? (I like that you show the point of view of both the bride and the groom.) It truly can be a solumn occation if you thick about the exchange of vows that are made.

Is this part of a longer work? Your text makes me what to read more about these characters!

Best wishes,
Anna

For thr benefit of other readers:
Anna's RFW-challenge No. 34 'She wears my ring'

Madeleine Maddocks said...

Very intriguing. A complex storyline. Lots to think about. I was wondering which time-frame it was set in, as it sounded like historical romance at times?

Kristen Haskell said...

I love your blog! The background is gorgeous. I am playing this get to know you game and I was hoping that you could join. The rules are on my blog http://www.livinginthemiddle.com/2012/03/tagi-am-lucky-duck.html

It is called tag you are a lucky duck. It is a little time consuming but I thought it was fun. I hope you join us.

Donna Hole said...

Ah, but an arranged marriage can have its lasting merits. There is so much going on for the characters, and it is all so intriguing. It invites the reader to question, and read along.

I could totally settle into both these characters. Good work with the dual POV.

.......dhole

Weissdorn said...

I enjoyed this poignent scene - very appropriate for the topic. The only thing I might have liked to have you hint at is which period this takes place in. Perhaps some detail about clothing or decore would have dropped some clues. Too bad it was so short I would have like to read more. I have something I would like to send you. Could you please send me your email address at celeste.weissdorn(at)gmail.com? Thank you.

David Macaulay said...

Really nicely written and intriguing Rek

Li said...

Brilliant last line! :-)

Scheherazade said...

Nicely written and it makes us want to know more about the characters. I like the dual POVs. By the way, very nice website.

Adura Ojo said...

Oooh, sounds like there's a lot more to tell. And yes, marriage does have that ring of finality about it. Somehow, it seems fairer that she knows she is compromising from the start rather than finding out later on. At least she is under no illusions. You capture the universality of marriage anxieties well.

Misha Gericke said...

Nicely written. I love how the two perspectives come together. :-)

Kiru Taye said...

I love the beautiful descriptions. It reads live a lovely romantic historical fiction but I may be wrong. I feel for the girl in the story and hope that though a compromise, he marriage will bring her much joy.

Andy David said...

Hello.
So, he's second best hmm? Wonderful read filled with mystery and intrigue at the end. Would love a prequel to this. Nice entry. Thanks for sharing.

The Beloved

Andy David said...

Hello again. Just stopping by to remind you about a monthly collaboration I'll be holding over at my new blog Lovers' Cove! from May 15th. Hope you can join in. More information/guidelines here...

Pat Tillett said...

Very good and very interesting. It makes me want to read and know more...

N. R. Williams said...

Hi Rek
Nice to have you in RFW's. You have my favorite artist enhancing this blog. Love it.

Your story is well told, tension and compassion well highlights your characters. I loved it.
Nancy

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